Here’s my second Holiday Wish List. (To see the first, use this link.)
Evil Skippy’s Wishes – The Training Edition
I wish that:
- A special training room existed where one zone was perfectly cool and the other perfectly warm so everyone felt just right. We would call it the Goldilocks Room.
- “Snacks” by definition included one donut for the instructor.
- Any trainer who bored more than 5% of his or her class at any one time would drop through a trap door into a room filled with soft pillows (to prevent injury) and then be forced to watch the same 1968 drivers’ education film repeatedly.
- Trainers had a magic button to swivel the classroom around so the back row becomes the front row. Just once.
- No more trainers forget to turn off their cordless microphone when they head for the restroom.
- For every minute a person is late for class or late back from a break, they have to give the trainer one dollar.
- Anyone who says about the preceding wish that it would be money well spent has to pay triple.
- People in the front row never figure out that many trainers can read upside down and those people never stop writing notes to their front-row neighbors. It’s the most useful “feedback” a trainer can receive.
- Anyone who asks trainers a question during a break while in the restroom does not remember that the trainer was the one who knocked the questioner unconscious with a shoe while shouting, “Can’t you leave me alone for just one minute!!” This is purely hypothetical.
- As nice as it was for you to bring your homemade cookies/candies/pastry/meat loaf, please do not expect me to eat it. I’m not saying that I don’t trust your cooking ability and/or hygiene – but let’s face it. I don’t. I don’t know you. Give me a gift card instead.
Now it’s your turn. When it comes to training — what would you wish for?