Over one’s lifetime and especially during one’s career, one will hear a series of ideas that are horrendous at best and terrifying at worst. For example, “Dress As Your Boss’s Worst Trait Day” is a horrendous idea. “Wear Your Skimpiest Bathing Suit At Work Day” is terrifying.
In no particular order, here are ten of the worst management ideas that I have heard during my career. So far.
- A proposal to require role plays at all harassment prevention training during which employees would hurl the worst possible insults at one another so everyone could “see what it feels like.”
- A recommendation that the organization always obtain a restraining order against an employee’s spouse whenever it is discovered that the employee is getting a divorce because “that’s probably when I’d start shooting at people.”
- Placing a human resources office by itself out in the middle of nowhere. See, The Near Death of Evil Skippy.
- A proposed amendment to a job description that would ban any “visibly overweight” person from being hired to sell chocolates because it would remind patrons that they should refrain from eating too many chocolates.
- A request that bullet-proof vests be provided for an upcoming meeting with a frightening employee. (You would think they had never heard of head shots.)
- Suggesting mistletoe as a decoration at an office function at which alcohol will be or has been served.
- A “health proposal” to switch decaffeinated coffee for the real thing (but not tell anyone).
- A proposal that a large group of mid-managers play games of physical skill to determine which ones would be laid off.
- Allowing the not-quite-twenty version of Evil Skippy access to signage for a major southern California amusement park and not expect an occasional “misspelling” that made the intended message “suggestive”.
- Forbidding anything delicious from meetings and allowing only “healthy” snacks. Give me a donut and no one gets hurt.