Thanks for your patience as I lived some life without posting here. Yes, Jim is still training and investigating. Yes, Skippy is still zinging. There will even be news soon of an Evil Skippy Road Show — workplace ridiculousness in all its forms brought to the stage at your keynote conferences and retreats. Maybe even a podcast. (“WHAT?! That’s so unique”. — Evil Skippy)
Today really is my birthday. That’s me in the photo turning 62 at midnight last night — onstage doing stand up. I’ve been 62 for over seven and a half hours and I already feel more wise, more sage, more opinionated. Go ahead and ask for my advice — never mind that my main achievement yesterday was picking up a pen with my bare toes and surviving off day-old maple bars.
Before all of you swamp me with requests like every other year for what to give me (besides training and/or stand up bookings — go ahead and send those), please sit down and take a calming breath. Read my list of wishes. Accept that you can’t give me most of what I want. Go for my Wish No. 10 even if you don’t manage any of the others. You’re the best.
My Top Ten Birthday Wishes for 2019
- My perfect grandson Tristan, now 2 years old, never stops flashing his biggest smile when he sees me.
- A CEO somewhere hires an H.R. Manager who is not and has never been named “Pam”. (Pams — you are awesome but I have so much trouble keeping track of you.)
- No one says, “Is it really a good idea for an old white guy to teach Harassment Prevention?” (I’m gay so at least I have that going for me).
- People stop blaming the Baby Boomers for everything and look at the real culprits — that “Greatest” Generation. They could have stopped Hitler a lot sooner.
- A chance to thank Greta Thurnberg personally for setting an example for the world.
- Being able to tell my 20-year old self to listen to all types of music. I almost missed Kid Cudi and Mac Miller. (Oh yeah — buy Microsoft stock too).
- An EGOT. For me. Billy Porter is doing just fine on his own.
- More people follow my comedy on Twitter and Instagram (@JimWebberLOL).
- No offense birthday cake — I want pumpkin pie like Nana Webber used to make for me.
- You do something to be kind to a stranger and also something kind for yourself daily. (Yeah, that was two but I’m an old birthday boy so let it go).