Dear Evil Skippy:
I am assembling a reading list for managers and supervisors. What books would you put on the list? Do you have favorite inspirational quotes?
The most useful book for anyone with co-workers is “The Book of Poisons” by Serita Stevens and Anne Bannon. It’s exactly what one needs if you really need to know how dangerous a particular poison is, where it can be found, how quickly it takes effect and whether there is an antidote (in case you have a pang of remorse at the very last moment).
I prefer memorable opening lines to “inspirational quotes”. Here are a few of my favorites, edited for the workplace:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be
in want of a wife getting paid more than a single woman in the same job. — With Apologies to Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)
families workplaces are all alike; every unhappy family workplace is unhappy in its own way. — With Apologies to Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina (1877)
It was the best if times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair – it was once again time for performance evaluations. –– With Apologies to Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (1859)
Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was sent to Human Resources. — With Apologies to Franz Kafka, The Trial (1925)
When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton – except for that one woman who complained to Human Resources and wrote to Evil Skippy because no one had remembered her birthday the month before. — With Apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (1955)
— Evil Skippy
I bet you did not know ES was so literate did you? Now it is time for you to show off your literary genius. What books or quotations do you recommend to Reader?
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