Every year on the Friday before Mother’s Day, my employer sends out an email reminding everyone to call our mothers and he gives flowers to all the mothers who work in the office. This makes me feel awful every year – I lost my mom at a young age and it still hurts. I want to have kids but have not found the right partner and time is running out so the flowers I don’t get make me feel like a loser. This must also feel wrong to the guys since the boss does not recognize Father’s Day. Do you think if I send him an anonymous note saying this is discrimination it might make him stop? It really depresses me. What should I do?
— Leave My Name Out
Don’t threaten him with a lawsuit. Call his mother and tell her what you wrote to me. She’ll set him straight better than any lawyer (unless he’s gay in which case she’ll simply correct his behavior). Yes, that may have been my most evil advice ever: TELL HIS MOMMY!
Another option would be to run down the hallways sobbing, “Mom! Mom! Why did you leave me so soon?” as soon as his reminder email arrives. It’s subtle but might convey the right sentiment.
— Evil Skippy
P.S. You should have sent me your letter earlier than the Thursday before Mother’s Day. Perhaps you can use this advice next year if you still need it since it is so awesome.
First of all, I do feel your pain. My mom died over twenty years ago and I miss her every day. For me, though, Mother’s Day makes me smile at the memories. I’m sorry this is rough on you.
Second, you really can manage this. If you think you can’t on your own, please do see a grief counselor. There are stages of mourning that include the moving on with your life phase – you deserve an existence without so much grief and need to reach that phase. Absent going to a counselor, at least you can utilize whatever techniques you use to go grocery shopping or out in public at this time of year when Mother’s Day reminders are everywhere.
I happen to agree with you that your boss should not turn the office into Mother’s Day Central. It’s really none of his business what the rest of you do when it comes to your parents. He’s also running the risk of causing unnecessary bad feelings among those employees who don’t have a mom or don’t have good relationships with their mom or who really want to become a mom but are physically unable. I’m sure there are more ways to feel pained by Mother’s Day than those examples. I won’t even start on people with allergies to flora.
Finally, remember this: When it comes down to it, this is just one day and if it is your only problem at work – congratulations.
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