Evil Skippy’s Top Ten Excuses for Being Late or Absent

(As Reported to him by clients and colleagues over the years*)

1. My dog ate the alarm clock during the night.
2. I had a premonition that there is going to be a major earthquake today and our building is not safe.
3. My car was commandeered by a SWAT team.
4. My doctor told me not to wear any clothes until my rash is gone.
5. I read the numbers wrong and thought I’d won the lottery, but I came in as soon as I realized my mistake.
6. [No excuse was called in, but the employee was featured on “America’s Most Wanted” the night before.]
7. My GPS malfunctioned as I was driving to the office.
8. The idea of working today makes my stomach turn.
9. My grandmother passed away.  (Note: this was the employee’s ninth “grand-parent” who died over three years.)
10. I had to rescue a cat from a tree in the rain and then change into dry clothes.

* Except for the excuse that I actually used one time. Can you guess which one?

Readers — I know you must have some good ones.  Let’s hear them.

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