Dear Evil Skippy:
I was interviewing for a really great job and the head of what would be my new department asked to meet me for an interview over lunch. I met him at the fancy restaurant that he had selected. We had what I thought was a positive interview until the very end. He concluded the interview, asked the waiter to split the check in half and then excused himself after paying his half. Was I wrong to assume that he was going to pick up the tab? Am I being overly sensitive if this makes me think twice about accepting if I receive an offer?
— Lynne
Dear Lynne:
You dear, sweet thing. [Say this with the tone of a grand southern dame who is about to skewer you.] You do not need to worry about imminent offers if you were left with half the bill. He was probably meeting the next finalist over coffee as you were figuring out how much to leave for a tip.
The following advice is too late for this time, but if this ever happens to you again don’t be such a sap. The next time an interviewer asks the server to split the check when you expected a free ride, immediately say you had too much water during lunch and need to use the restroom but will be right back. Then go — and by go, I mean home.
— Evil Skippy
If someone invites you to a job interview over lunch, they are implying to pay. That’s what I say and I have my own world-famous blog. However, I don’t agree with ES that this guy made you pay because he had already decided not to hire you. It’s possible it never occurred to him that you expected the company to pay for your meal. I can’t actually think of a plausible reason right now why someone would think that, but I suppose there could be one.
In your place, the moment the guy asked for separate checks I would have expressed surprise. (Note that I did not say that I would express shock, anger or disdain). I simply would have said that I was surprised because I’d thought it was the usual custom for the interviewer to pay. I then would have reached for my wallet to get my credit card – and however the interviewer explained would determine whether or not I was interested in pursuing the position.
Readers – what would you have done?
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If he offers you the promotion, you should say, “Well, I was GOING to accept, but since you wouldn’t pay for my meal I have changed my mind. I will not accept this promotion.” That’ll show him!
Wrong to assume that he was going to pay? Nope.
Right to assume that if you take this position, he will continue to watch every penny of the budget, including raises, upgrades to work equipment and maintenance, etc? Absolutely….
I agree with Jim and Betsy. And I like Jim’s approach: not too pushy but lets you find out a bit more about this person’s style and values. I’m amazed an interviewer would do this after choosing an upscale restaurant. Looks like he wanted to treat himself to a great meal at the company’s expense but couldn’t justify twice that amount to his boss. Not cool!
Jim’s approach is great – and heck this may have been a (lousy) test to see if you have the moxie to speak up over something as rude as this appeared to be. I would definitely think three times before accepting a job there however. Penny-pinching (at best) and mind-games (at worst) at the interview stage is not a good sign…
This is why no matter who I’m going to lunch with, and no matter what the circumstances are I always ask before accepting, “You buying?” If the inviter says, “Yes,” then I accept. If they say, “No,” then I decide from there if I want to foot the bill for lunch on that day or not. Bottom line, always ask.
There’s a huge presumption in the behaviour of that interviewer that’s really problematic. In what way should he presume that the person interviewing can even afford “fancy restaurant,” if they are looking for work? What was the interviewee supposed to do if they didn’t have the money with them? I do agree, however, with everyone who said you should have spoken up in the moment. And yes I’d have run from that offer if I’d been given one, because seriously, this guy would be incredibly penny pinching.
Sounds like you are already working at this company but looking to get a better job in a different department? Could it be that the interviewer assumed you were on equal footing because you both work at the same company? Or, could it be that the interviewer is very task focused, instead of being people focused and simply does not pay much mind to what other people think or feel? Maybe that person himself is planning on leaving the company/department and has been interviewing replacements for his position…It could be any number of things that could be reasons for his behavior. Either way, it sounds like you did not react and I think it is the best way you could have handled the situation. Makes no sense to jeopardize your offer or your present position at this company by calling attention to his indiscretion or by doing any of the things people have mentioned above. Who knows if this person will even be the one you are directly reporting to or being supervised by eventually. Maybe one day, you’ll be his boss and you can bring up his indiscretion then and dress him down for it but, at this point doing anything at all to react to it will only cost you the job you are trying to get or, even worse, jeopardize the position you’re currently in. Ultimately, if it made you feel so bad that you don’t take the position if it’s offered to you, then that will be your choice but, at least you will have one to make.