Dear Evil Skippy: My Boss Wants Me To Kill
I am working as a seasonal employee at a major home improvement store. The gardening department area is filled with birds and some nest there. As a bird lover, I enjoy their songs in the mornings. However, they can make a poo mess which makes the shopping area dirty. I gladly power wash the mess away but have been told to remove the nests when I find them, eggs, chicks and all and throw them away. Another worker has no problem with this but I do . . . what can I do?
– Soft Hearted
Dear Soft Hearted:
I agree with you. Throwing the nests away is wasteful. Save them for craft projects.
– Evil Skippy
P.S. . If you’re afraid that your employer will accuse you of theft, just be sure never to “find” a nest.
I’m not sure what is amazing me the most — using the word “poo” in my blog, or hearing about an employer who wants its workers to kill baby birds. The latter hardly sounds like a home “improvement” plan to me.
At the same time, I understand your employer’s reasoning. As a shopper, I do not want to step in “poo” or have “poo” dropped on me from above. I probably would also not relish reaching for a box of plant food and grasping “poo” that already landed on it.
Cleaning up “poo” or barf (what is a good poo-like synonym for vomit?) comes with the territory at some jobs where members of the public are expected to roam around. When I worked for a famous amusement park in California, I hated those hot days when little kids ate tons of ice cream, popcorn and cotton candy right before enjoying the many roller coasters. Ewwww.
Unless the birds you are talking about are endangered or otherwise protected by environmental laws, your employer has the right to remove the nests and to make removal a job duty. As I see it, you have three options. First, you could listen to ES and just fail to notice the nests. The problem with that approach is you either have to lie or be inept. Second, you could quit. A better choice is to talk to your supervisor. Perhaps you can be excused from Nest Duty if you have enough co-workers who are willing or even eager to kill defenseless baby birds. Of course, that means you are working with Baby Bird Killers, but life is full of compromises.
As long-time readers of this blog know, I advise folks that they need to comply with legal and reasonable job expectations. While removing and possibly terminating unwanted pests (mice, rats, birds, vendors) is a legal job expectation for some positions, I hope that most employers understand that employees may have strong objections to being instruments of something’s premature demise. (In some cases, employees might have a valid religious objection to killing other creatures. In those cases, employers would have a duty to accommodate the employees if possible and not require them to snuff Tweety.)
Talk to your boss. Perhaps you can be excused from the task if eggs or baby birds are in the nest. If it is not possible to excuse you (possibly because many of your co-workers would also want to be excused), then you either have to perform the job or look for another one. Perhaps you could transfer to another department.
Or, if you don’t want to be nice and wimpy like Jim – be creative. Call your local Audubon Society or bird watching club. Anonymously report what is happening. The protestors should show up in no time. You might become the first Retail Bird Sanctuary!
Evil Skippy never shares email addresses. Click the link to subscribe and you’ll be notified whenever Evil Skippy posts something new.
You can send a question for Evil Skippy directly to:
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Comments? Click the bubble below.