Evil Skippy is taking the day off from writing in order to spend the next 24 hours on a treadmill to make up for all the pumpkin pie he consumed yesterday. Here is a blast from the past — 10 Evaluation Cliches (And Translation Into Evil Skippy-ese)
1. You would benefit from cross-training in other departments.
Evil Skippy’s Translation: There are lots of supervisors who owe me a favor — and helping me get rid of you would be a big one.
2. You need to think more carefully about your work product.
Evil Skippy‘s Translation: You are depriving a village of its idiot.
3. You need to develop more advanced oral communication skills.
Evil Skippy‘s Translation: Whenever I see two people talking and one of them looks really bored, you are always the other one.
4. You have a tendency to take matters too seriously at times.
Evil Skippy‘s Translation: You may not have an ulcer, but you are a carrier.
5. You do not realize that you are not performing up to the expected level.
Evil Skippy‘s Translation: You have delusions of adequacy.
6. You put a lot of effort into your work, but we need to see results.
Evil Skippy‘s Translation: The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
7. You are a pleasure to supervise.
Evil Skippy‘s Translation: I am supposed to say something nice and my mind is a blank.
8. You can be too friendly at times.
Evil Skippy-ese: We are waiting to see if your former co-worker sues after the mistletoe incident.
9. You need to work on how you handle stressful situations.
Evil Skippy‘s Translation: Stop being a drama queen.
10. At times, your assertive nature can cause people to feel uncomfortable.
Evil Skippy‘s Translation: We’ve hired extra security because of you.