Evil Skippy At Work

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So Long, Farewell . . .

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Dear Evil Skippy Fans, Friends and Frenemies –

It’s been real. It’s been great. It’s even been real great.

Still, it’s time to wrap it up. Jim has accepted a position with the University of Washington (or so he says) and I have decided to pursue a career in anger management.. Or something. I have not decided.

Jim wishes you all the best. I really don’t care, especially since none of you sent anything to my Venmo account. Slaps to you.

In closing, remember this:

  1. If you are a supervisor, you should supervise.
  2. Only I can slap people. You have to use corrective action and other non-physical means.
  3. Harassers are bullies. Fire them.
  4. Take no weasels.

So long for now,

Evil Skippy

Free Speech vs. Bad Behavior

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Ed: This post from 2012 still applies (in case employees are having heated discussions about anything). It could happen maybe.

Dear Evil Skippy –

My newest employee “Rob” (6 mos. here) and one of my other employees (“Steve”) have been at odds wi from the start because of their very different political view points.  They barely speak to each other unless it is to argue about whatever is in the headlines.  When I counsel them, they say this is a freedom of speech issue and that it is illegal to censor free speech.

Based on past work, one of our major clients asked that Rob and Steve work together on the client’s next long-term project.  Both refused to be assigned to be on the same team with the other, and I have to admit that I dread supervising the two of them if they are paired.  Our project teams have to work very closely together and I am not always there to referee.  I told my boss that putting them together is a bad idea, a REALLY bad idea.  How do I convince my manager that he is making a mistake?

–          Keep My Name Out Of This

Dear KMNOT:

You are the supervisor and you need to supervise.  Tell them both to shut up and do their jobs.  Steve and Rob can exercise free speech on their own time.

— Evil Skippy

Ahem.   Telling people to shut up is not consistent with maintaining a great workplace. Still, Evil Skippy is on the right track.  You really should try supervising some time. When you told your manager that the company should keep Rob and Steve apart, you told your manager that you are not able to supervise them. Your two employees have a special expertise that the client wants to utilize and your only reason for not granting the client’s request is their unprofessional, baby behavior (as opposed to a legitimate business reason such as pre-existing assignments that can’t be changed).

You should meet with Rob and Steve – at the same time is best – and establish the following points

Their conversations at work about conflicting political opinions have to stop.  Immediately.

Rob and Steve are creating an unprofessional atmosphere that the company will not tolerate. Make it clear that the issue is not their opinions.  They are free to think anything that they want to think.  They are not free to force their views on the rest of the workplace and they absolutely must not disrupt the flow of work with their comments.  Do not get dragged into it if they say (as these people often do) that it is a private matter between the two of them and that they welcome the political discourse.   Just tell them the unprofessional conversations during work time have to stop.  They are free to meet after work for a rousing exchange of ideas.

“Freedom of Speech” is not relevant in this situation.

Nothing in the U.S. Constitution prevents an employer from telling employees to stop talking and do their jobs.  Civil conversations in the workplace are not usually a problem, but when individuals such as Rob and Steve can’t let go of their personal opinions in order to do their jobs – it is time for management to intervene. Rob and Steve have a job to do and they have to either do it or move on.

Bottom line: Steve and Rob have to work together.

The client wants them.  They are available.  If Rob and Steve continue to say that they will not work together, it is time to draw the proverbial line in the sand.  This is a job assignment and they are not free to make the staffing decision.  In addition, Rob and Steve have to treat each other in a respectful manner, no exceptions. Failure to do the work in a respectful manner is insubordination and could result in termination.  

It is at this point that one or both of them may dig in their heels and tell you that you do not have the right to tell them to respect anyone else.  This will mean that they have misunderstood your point.  It will provide you with a wonderful opportunity for a learning moment that would go something like this:

You:  I expect both of you to behave in a respectful manner toward each other.

Rob/Steve:  That’s mind control!  You can’t force us to respect each other!  I despise everything he stands for!   This is like Big Brother!

You:  Listen to my words very carefully.  I expect you both to behave in a respectful manner.  I am talking about your conduct and not your personal opinions.  You both can think anything that you want to think.  However, based on your recent behavior at work, neither of you may discuss politics in the workplace.

Rob/Steve:  But I don’t respect him!

You:  Listen to my words very carefully.   I expect you both to behave in a respectful manner.  I am talking about your conduct and not your personal opinions.  You both can think anything that you want to think.  However, based on your recent behavior at work, neither of you may discuss politics in the workplace.

Repetition can be a key to learning, so keep repeating your message until they understand.  It may take a while.

You are not alone.  In my years as an HR Manager, supervisor and employment attorney, I saw many similar scenarios.  The underlying topic may change from politics to something else  –  religion, sports, and cooking techniques come immediately to mind – but the adverse effect on the workplace is the same.  Whenever two people allow personal feelings and opinions to interfere with work and a professional environment, they need to channel their inner adults and do their jobs in a respectful and professional manner.

This does not apply to instances where the dispute involves one employee harassing another employee. That is an article for another day.

Jim can speak at your conferences and seminars.   Contact Jim (and/or ES)  here, on Twitter, Instagram and through the “Evil Skippy at Work” group on Facebook. (Twitter: @EvilSkippySays and @JimWebberLOL; Instagram: EvilSkippyAtWork and JimWebberLOL)  

My Employee Picked His Nose During A Video Meeting

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Dear Evil Skippy:

One of my employees did not realize he was on camera during a video staff meeting. He is not the most tech savvy among my group (which is surprising since he is not the Boomer). During the meeting, he started to pick his nose. Vigorously. It got worse but I am not going more TMI than I already have. The whole group went silent.

I just ignored him and went on with the meeting.  What should I have done?

 — Stunned Into Silence Supervisor

Dear Stunned:

Hit record.  

— Evil Skippy

P.S. Nice gratuitous slam at your Boomer employee. Hopefully he or she sees this so they can use the evidence in a future age discrimination lawsuit.

Jim can speak at your conferences and seminars.   Contact Jim (and/or ES)  here, on Twitter, Instagram and through the “Evil Skippy at Work” group on Facebook. (Twitter: @EvilSkippySays and @JimWebberLOL; Instagram: EvilSkippyAtWork and JimWebberLOL)

Can My Employer Force Me To Add Pronouns To My Signature?

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Dear Evil Skippy:

Can my employer force me to include a pronoun preference on my email signature block? My name is obviously male and I will feel really stupid putting “He/Him” on my emails.

— Him

Dear Him:

Whether or not anyone can force you depends on your level of commitment. You might be convinced to do it at gunpoint, but your boss might not try that since the employment practice is illegal everywhere but Texas. Are you in Texas?

Leaving persuasion techniques aside, your letter demonstrates why your employer is doing a great thing because you make so many baseless and dare I say stupid assumptions. For example, you say your name is obviously male. Ha. Where have you been? Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue” was a hit in 1969 so I beg to differ. (“I tell ya, life ain’t easy for a boy named Sue'”)

Here’s what I think even though I have never met you: You are raising a stink about this because you have some sort of issue with gender politics and activism. I have no idea what your issue might be. Maybe you are tired of hearing about gender. Maybe you hate people that don’t conform to your personal beliefs. Maybe it’s something else. I sure don’t know, but I do know your employer’s policy is probably designed to show support for a segment of your community and perhaps people in your workforce. Why would you have a problem with showing support for other humans?

Just change your signature block. You don’t have to march in a parade or sign a petition. Your employer already tells you (I hope) to use business language at work (“kind of”) instead of informal text talk (“kinda”), right? The pronoun signature rule is a lot like that. It is a standard format your employer wants you to use for work-related correspondence. That is not so hard. I can’t think of it as being a burden on anyone in any way at all unless that person is just a jerk. Stop whining and just do it.

Keep in mind that your attitude about the new policy is precisely the sort of thing that can make some people’s work lives miserable at times (if not worse).

Finally, look at it this way. Would you rather feel stupid for putting the pronouns on your signature, or feel stupid for getting fired for refusing to follow a simple policy?

Love always,

Evil Skippy (He/Jim)

P.S. Jim won’t be commenting today but I am sure he agrees with me. He has developed a quarantine addiction to Stardew Valley and is live streaming on Twitch instead of working on this post. He will be sorry for giving me unsupervised access to the computer. This postscript may or may not be factual. Flag me Twitter, I dare you.

Can I Leave Low Performing Employees On Permanent Pandemic Layoff?

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Dear Evil Skippy:

We closed our offices due to COVID-19 and laid off almost all of our 80 employees.  It was not possible for their work to be done from home. The governor is allowing our business to reopen pretty soon with safety precautions (to allow for social distancing, etc.) I’d like to use this phase as an opportunity to make operations more efficient than they were before. There are several employees who were not pulling their weight so I am planning not to bring them back. There are no contracts and we don’t have union.  My boss (the business owner) checked with one of her lawyer friends who said that what we plan to do is not illegal. My boss told me I should write to you for a second opinion. She laughed so I think she was joking so I am looking forward to showing her that I called her bluff.

While I have your attention though – was the lawyer friend correct about this being legal? I would love not to have to supervise a few of those people when we get going in a few weeks.  What do you think? 

— A Quarantined Supervisor

Dear AQS:

I think you are an ass and I would love not to work for you.

Using the pandemic-related shut down to take care of performance issues that you were too lazy, inept or stupid to address before the pandemic is jerk behavior. While it may be essential that I slap you, I shall refrain in the interest of social distancing.

Bring everyone else back and lay yourself off. That’s what I’d do.

–– Evil Skippy

P.S. Tell your boss I’m not so thrilled with her either. First, she should have told you that you are an ass. Second, she should not try to get a free second opinion from me when I am an out-of-work professional. Tell her to send $5 via Venmo to @James-Webber-29 and I’ll overlook the slight.

Day 70-something of quarantine and someone is cranky. I do not recall ES calling anyone an ass or starting a pledge drive before. The times they are a changing. 

Supervisors ask me all the time if a certain practice or decision would be “legal”.  Before I answer, I tell them they need to ask a second question – “Is it smart?” Conduct can easily be “legal” while at the same time be incredibly foolhardy which is my nice way of saying stupid.  The mantra “Is this Legal?/Is this Smart?” is one of my favorites. I now realize it should be a trilogy. Employers should also ask, “Is this humane?” (I could argue that it can’t be smart if it is inhumane, but after reading the news lately I don’t want to leave being humane to chance.)

Using the pandemic layoff to terminate employees rather than using corrective action is not humane even if it might be legal in your jurisdiction. While some supervisors might call it smart because of the “efficiency,” it is not humane. Not by a long shot.  It is hurting people when they are already down. It is failing to communicate. It is denying workers a reasonable opportunity to meet your expectations. It is failing to do your job.

You are a supervisor. So supervise.

And send the five bucks. ES needs shoes.

Jim can speak at your conferences and seminars.   Contact Jim (and/or ES)  here, on Twitter, Instagram and through the “Evil Skippy at Work” group on Facebook. (Twitter: @EvilSkippySays and @JimWebberLOL; Instagram: EvilSkippyAtWork and JimWebberLOL)  

Is Tele-Harassment A Thing?

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Dear Evil Skippy:

My department is working from home. One of my employees called me to say she was offended because another employee told her she was looking great and he wished they were quarantining together. She said this happened when they were talking on the phone one-on-one about a project. I asked if this was a harassment complaint. She said no, she just did not want him bothering her. This seems so unreasonable to me. Is it even possible to harass someone from a distance?

— A Supervisor

Dear Supervisor:

Except for unwanted physical touching, of course is it possible to harass from a distance (or as I call it, “Tele-Harass”).  These days, it is unpatriotic and dangerous to humanity for one to harass any other way. You should commend your employee for taking social distancing seriously.

Love from away,

Evil Skippy

P.S. Be careful to enunciate carefully when you say “tele-harass” or the term itself sounds a little harass-y.

If you have not already done so, ask your employee to tell you the details about the call that is bothering her (what was said and how it was said). Also ask if anything in the past between the two is a concern to her. Something in your Supervisor Brain made you ask if she had a complaint – that is enough for you as a supervisor to look into the matter whether or not she “complains”.  The usual law of harassment applies (If a reasonable person would be offended, etc.) as well as your usual workplace rules (e.g., be respectful).

You’re a supervisor. So supervise.

Jim can speak at your conferences and seminars.   Contact Jim (and/or ES)  here, on Twitter, Instagram and through the “Evil Skippy at Work” group on Facebook. (Twitter: @EvilSkippySays and @JimWebberLOL; Instagram: EvilSkippyAtWork and JimWebberLOL)  

No Hugfest For Them

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Dear Evil Skippy:

I have been working at home for over 40 days. I’m enjoying it. To be honest, I like most of my co-workers more from a distance and would work remotely for the rest of however long the job lasts if I could. 

Several of my co-workers have been texting and Zooming about how work will be a “hugfest” when we officially get to reopen. My supervisor is leading this pack and has said in several posts that she plans to give everyone a reunion hug no matter what the harassment trainers have said in the past. 

I need an advance plan. How do I stop her from hugging me?

Signed,

Isn’t Going To Start Being A Hugger Now

Dear Isn’t:

Cough.

Love,

Evil Skippy

P.S. Normally, I would probably slap your hopefully well-meaning boss for shading harassment trainers. Not for real this time. My reach is well under six feet.

My how times have changed. The answer always used to be Tasers.

To address your actual question, try not to make a big deal or thing over this. Your supervisor is apparently a hugger and you can be proactive. Easy.

Send her a nice private message, such as this: “Isn’t everything crazy? I’m glad everyone seems to be doing well with this. It’s sure great how the team keeps coming together. Can I ask you for some workplace advice? I’m really not a hugger and I’m not going to be one when this is over. How would you stop a hug without making the person offering the hug feel weird?”

Of course, write in your own personal style. Use however much amount of small talk as you normally would. However you phrase it, do what I did and employ the classic Western Movie Cliche, “Head ’em Off at the Pass”. My messages assumes there is nothing at all wrong with being a non-hugger — because there isn’t — and forces my supervisor to adopt the same assumption. I make my point without making a complaint or criticizing my supervisor.

I agree with ES that we should assume (without more) that your supervisor means no harm. Perhaps they are enthusiastic about seeing the world again and — try not to faint — in their world hugs might be the default display of joy. Be proactive but be as empathetic toward the huggers as you hope the huggers will be toward you.

Huggers: Yes, it must be hard on you. There will most likely be many hugfests when this over. Please remember that even though everything has changed [insert comments about the pandemic and history and why-Tiger-King-Became-A-Thing here], the rules of hugging have not. Don’t hug anyone, not even when this is over, who does not want to hug you back. There are so many reasons why a person may not want to hug you and none of them are any of your business. You aren’t going to win an achievement award by hugging more people so just move on.

This might be a good time to remind you all of my “Hug And Release” rule about hugs at work. It’s the same as the eco-friendly fishing system but applies to people. You can hug the willing, but you have to do the deed and stop. This is not a time to grope or a time to find out if the other person is wearing a wire.

Hug.

And release.

Quickly.

And non-huggers — you have to remember to be empathetic. There are a lot of degrees to wanting to hug other people. Not all of the can help themselves. Unless the person does not back off, there is no need right now to make this a teaching moment. If they don’t back off, all bets are off.

Start coughing, for starters.

Yes! Jim (with or without Evil Skippy) can speak at your conferences and seminars.   Contact Jim and/or ES  here or on Twitter, Instagram or through the “Evil Skippy at Work” group on Facebook.  (Twitter: @EvilSkippySays and @JimWebberLOL; Instagram: EvilSkippyAtWork and JimWebberLOL)  

Be Evil Skippy for a Day

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Happy Monday! At least I think it is Monday. Is it still April?

Whatever. Today brings your chance to be Evil Skippy for a day. I selected a past question that looks back to when people worked in groups away from home.

How would you respond?

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences, training and seminars. Please follow us on Instagram (@EvilSkippyAtWork) and Twitter (@EvilSkippySays and @JimWebberLOL).  You can and should also join the Evil Skippy at Work group on Facebook.

My Boss Told Me Not To Wear Pajamas During Video Conferences

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Dear Evil Skippy:

My boss told me not to wear pajamas during video conferences or any other time while working from home. Why does it matter? I’m covered up. It is not a sexy nightie. What should I do when he says this during the next call?

— Lee Anne

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