Evil Skippy At Work

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My Supervisor Yells And Throws Things

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Dear Evil Skippy:

When my supervisor gets upset at someone or about something, he yells. Sometimes he throws things. His face gets red and he looks like he might strangle someone. It happens at least once a week. Usually more. It’s upsetting even when he is not directing it at me personally. How can we make him stop?

— Michelle

Dear Michelle:

Duct tape and/or tranquilizer darts. Unless you have perfect aim and nerves of steel, go with the tape.

—  Evil Skippy

P.S.  Your supervisor sounds like a jerk. If you don’t want to get close enough to use duct tape, grab your phone and start recording the next rant while saying, “This will go viral! I’m going to be famous!”

I don’t often accuse ES of stupidity but today is one of those days. Do not under any circumstances pretend to or actually record your boss while he is in mid-rant. From the way you describe him, his behavior is out of control. Never provoke someone who is in that zone – it’s potentially dangerous.

Do document the rants. You are off to a good job in your letter to me because you described his red face – that is a fact and not an opinion.  Record more facts and not just your conclusion that he is mad and upset. Write down where the behavior happened, when it happened and what exactly he said and did. Who was around and who was affected? The more detail the better. Then, go to human resources or your supervisor’s boss and in a calm, professional manner report what has taken place. It could go something like this: “I’ve been concerned about a pattern of behavior that is causing tension in our workplace. Because it has been happening on a regular basis for several months, I made a point of jotting down the details from an incident this afternoon. Our supervisor came into our work area and threw a notebook down on the conference table. [And so on].”  Did you notice how I emphasized that this is a regular pattern of behavior?

Management should counsel your supervisor immediately and let him know that this behavior will not be tolerated in any employee, particularly a supervisor. Perhaps he needs to go to EAP. Perhaps he just needs to get his inner child under control and let his outer adult be the supervisor. Perhaps he’s burned out and needs to stop being a supervisor. Whatever he needs, if your supervisor keeps allowing his inner child to run around at work, he should be terminated.

Good luck. Readers – how have you dealt with a yeller in the workplace?

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.

My Boss Won’t Let Us Celebrate Norway’s Constitution Day

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Dear Evil Skippy:

I wanted to celebrate Syttende Mai by having special treats in the afternoon. My boss said no. She said I could put up a few decorations and set up something after work, but we would not take any time away from work for this. We celebrate other people’s special occasions. I feel like this is discrimination against me and my heritage. What do you think?

— Call Me Haaken

Dear Haaken:

I think your boss is wise. Lutefisk in the workplace is automatically harassment against your co-workers. It also violates safety standards in 49 of the 50 states.

— Evil Skippy

Happy Settende Mai! It’s one of my favorite celebrations too. However, unless you work in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle or another Norwegian enclave, celebrate on your own time. If you must, wear a Norwegian flag pin to work and say “Uff da!” a lot.

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.

The Top Ten Ways To Deal With A Co-Worker’s Beard Dandruff

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Dear Evil Skippy:

One of my male co-workers has a full beard. The problem is that his beard has a terrible dandruff problem. When he wears dark shirts his chest looks like someone dumped powdered sugar all over him. It’s disgusting. I’m thinking about leaving an anonymous gift of a beard grooming product and hope he gets the hint. Do you think that would work? Do you have any better ideas?

— W.I.N.

Dear W.I.N.:

My first idea is that I really, really want to slap you because you have ruined powdered sugar donuts for me. Forever.

My second idea is that this calls for a new Top Ten.

Evil Skippy’s Top Ten Ways

To Deal With A Co-Worker’s Beard Dandruff

  1. Hire a hit man.*
  2. Tell him, “I’ve never seen a shirt pattern like that before – tiny polka dots on the chest but not on the back.  Oh.”
  3. Open your eyes wide and say, “Whoa! When you shake your head it reminds me of the Great Blizzard of ‘09”.
  4. A mini-vacuum.
  5. Organize a Shave Posse – but be sure to look up “assault” in your local criminal code before making any final plans.
  6. Casually stare at the facial hair and ask, “Did you know that one of the main causes of beard dandruff is malassezia fungus**?”
  7. During a conversation lull, interject with “Do you think there is a shampoo called Chin, Neck and Shoulders? Just wondering for some reason.”
  8. Hum a certain Christmas carol when you pass by him.  
  9. Plant a fake corporate newsletter around the office with the headline, “Rumors Confirmed That Bearded Men And Women Will Be First On Massive Layoff List”.***
  10. Leave a dandruff control product for beards (perhaps one recommended by GQ) on one side of his desk and a pair of scissors and razor blade on the other. Between them, place a sign that says, “Pick one. Really.”

*Yep, I said it yesterday and I said it today.

** In addition to fungal facts, while researching for this post I learned that the correct term for this malady is “BEARDRUFF”.  

*** No gender discrimination or assumptions here, folks!

—  Evil Skippy

P.S. Thanks so much for specifying that you were writing about a male colleague.

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.

How Do I Make A Loud-Mouthed Co-Worker Shut Up?

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Dear Evil Skippy:

We were subjected to a year of our loud-mouthed, self-centered co-worker’s wedding plans. The wedding was months ago but our relief was brief. She’s told everyone about the once-in-a-lifetime cruise she and her husband are now planning. And she’s told us again and again about her plans. How can we shut her up once and for all?

— Fuming

Dear Fuming:

Hire a hit man.

— Evil Skippy

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.

My Interviewer Was Biased Based On My Age

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Dear Evil Skippy:

I have been interviewing for jobs and sometimes get the strong feeling that an interviewer is biased against me because of my age. (I’m pushing 60). What should I do when I have those feelings?

— J.S.

Dear J.S.:

Sit down until the feeling passes. You don’t want to get light-headed and then fall and break a hip.

—  Evil Skippy

What you should do depends on what happened during the interview. Blatant discrimination or rudeness should be confronted head on, in my opinion, but only after you confirm the interviewer said or did what you think was said or done. (“Would you repeat what you just said?” or “Did you just roll you eyes?”). Mere suspicions should probably be ignored unless a pattern develops that raises your suspicion to the level of a deduction.

If you believe you were subjected to age-based discrimination and you don’t care about filing a claim or seeking damages, I suggest that you still send a respectful, calm message to the head of the hiring organization summarizing your opinion and the facts that made you believe there was discrimination. If you are not seeking any kind of relief (money, a job, an apology) be sure to say so. It might give your message a bit more clout.

If you believe you were subjected to discrimination and you are interested in damages or relief of some kind, talk to the employment lawyer of your choice as soon as you can. Age discrimination cases are, as the professionals say, “hard”, and getting an early legal review will save you heartache and disappointment in the future.  Also, as an old person, you already know time could be running out.

Readers — what advice would you give to J.S.?

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.

Should My Employer Give Flowers To All The Moms?

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Dear Evil Skippy:

Every year on the Friday before Mother’s Day, my employer sends out an email reminding everyone to call our mothers and he gives flowers to all the mothers who work in the office. This makes me feel awful every year – I lost my mom at a young age and it still hurts. I want to have kids but have not found the right partner and time is running out so the flowers I don’t get make me feel like a loser. This must also feel wrong to the guys since the boss does not recognize Father’s Day. Do you think if I send him an anonymous note saying this is discrimination it might make him stop? It really depresses me. What should I do?

— Leave My Name Out

Dear L.M.N.O.:

Don’t threaten him with a lawsuit. Call his mother and tell her what you wrote to me. She’ll set him straight better than any lawyer (unless he’s gay in which case she’ll simply correct his behavior). Yes, that may have been my most evil advice ever: TELL HIS MOMMY!

Another option would be to run down the hallways sobbing, “Mom! Mom! Why did you leave me so soon?” as soon as his reminder email arrives. It’s subtle but might convey the right sentiment.

—  Evil Skippy

P.S.  You should have sent me your letter earlier than the Thursday before Mother’s Day. Perhaps you can use this advice next year if you still need it since it is so awesome.

First of all, I do feel your pain. My mom died over twenty years ago and I miss her every day. For me, though, Mother’s Day makes me smile at the memories. I’m sorry this is rough on you.

Second, you really can manage this. If you think you can’t on your own, please do see a grief counselor. There are stages of mourning that include the moving on with your life phase – you deserve an existence without so much grief and need to reach that phase. Absent going to a counselor, at least you can utilize whatever techniques you use to go grocery shopping or out in public at this time of year when Mother’s Day reminders are everywhere.

I happen to agree with you that your boss should not turn the office into Mother’s Day Central. It’s really none of his business what the rest of you do when it comes to your parents. He’s also running the risk of causing unnecessary bad feelings among those employees who don’t have a mom or don’t have good relationships with their mom or who really want to become a mom but are physically unable. I’m sure there are more ways to feel pained by Mother’s Day than those examples. I won’t even start on people with allergies to flora.

Finally, remember this: When it comes down to it, this is just one day and if it is your only problem at work – congratulations.

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.

Did I Threaten My Bullying Co-Worker?

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Dear Evil Skippy:

I have been bullied by two women in my office. I have talked with my supervisor numerous times and nothing has been done. During a meeting both of the women accused me of not following through on a request. I thought the request had been resolved. I mutter I would like to punch her in the mouth. I know it was wrong to say this, but I feel this would not have happened if the supervisor had stopped the bullying. I was written up and made to work on another floor. I still have to work with them but they do not acknowledge me at all. Isn’t this still a form of bullying? They did not hear what I had said only my supervisor who was sitting next to me. I will not receive a raise because of this incident and still put up with the bullying. I guess I just don’t see this a threat, maybe I’m wrong?

— Not A Puncher

Dear Not:

You’re right — your comment was not a threat. It was just really, really dumb. And rude, irresponsible, immature and ineffective. Remember my classic workplace policy: “Just because you THINK it does not mean you should SAY it.”

On the bright side, you did not actually punch anyone in the mouth. Kudos to you!

— Evil Skippy

I agree with ES (and you) that the comment was wrong. I also agree with your supervisor that it needed to be taken seriously. However, I am very curious. What was the bullying toward you in the past and what is it now? If there is an ongoing issue, the fact that you made an inappropriate comment does not grant your two co-workers a license to treat you poorly. Provide your manager or H.R. representative with factual details about the bullying (this is what they did and this is when they did it).  Don’t just say, “They’re bullies!”  Describe the actual conduct that made you conclude bullying is present.

Whether a “failure to acknowledge” you is bullying depends on what you mean by “failure to acknowledge”. If you say good morning and they roll their eyes and turn away from you – that’s rude and a pattern of similar behavior could constitute part of a bullying campaign. If they act like you are invisible and do not respond to you whatsoever, same answer plus they are refusing to do their jobs if you are trying to talk to them about a work-related matter.

Your workplace has an obligation to shield you from bulling. Period. Management should be as direct with your co-workers as they were with you. Your employer also has an obligation to protect you from rude or obnoxious behavior, even if it is not bullying.  Evaluate the “failure to acknowledge” facts and any other bullying that you believe you are experiencing. Apply a reality check to yourself (consult with a trusted friend if you want) and, if what is happening appears to violate company conduct policy, report the conduct whether or not it is also “bullying”.

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.

Should I Ask The Funeral Director If My Employee Attended Services?

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Dear Evil Skippy:

Is it ethical to call a funeral home to inquire whether my employee truly attended a funeral service (thereby missing an important meeting)?

— Business Owner

Dear B.O. (that was so fun to type):

Don’t bother calling the funeral director. Since when do they take attendance? Besides, it’s 2018, not 1958 – stop being embarrassingly low-tech. Join the ranks of modern bosses and ask your employee to verify funeral attendance by posting a selfie from the service. Give an extra hour of bereavement leave to anyone who captures the dearly departed at an open casket gig.

—  Evil Skippy

I agree that calling the funeral director is going to be a long shot at best. Some employers, as a matter of policy, ask employees to provide a copy of the obituary or other document that states the time and place of the funeral service. However, I confess that I am not aware of employers seeking proof that the employee actually attended the service via witness statements and the like.

If you are mad about just one meeting, cool your jets. If you are mad about a pattern of irregular attendance, implement your corrective action policy.

Readers- what would you do?

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.

Evil Skippy’s Key To Parking Space Revenge

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Dear Evil Skippy:

One of my co-workers uses two parking spaces for her car by parking down the middle of the white spacer line. She usually arrives earlier than everyone else so she uses a prime spot that someone else (like me) could have had. She says this prevents her car doors from getting dinged. I think that’s selfish. What would you do?

— Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

Take a hammer to her car doors. If that is too aggressive for you, key her. Her car, I mean.

— Evil Skippy

An obvious solution but, as they say in the legal profession, “vandalism”. Don’t commit crimes, at least not in front of witnesses. Or cameras. I recall reading in the Seattle Times a few years ago about a lawyer caught by surveillance cameras keying poorly parked cars in his office building. Side note: A surprising number of people sympathized more with him than with the vandalized. Nonetheless, he received a criminal fine and probation.

Does the parking area at your job belong just to your employer? If so, report the evil doer to human resources if it is THAT important to you. (Be prepared to be asked if you are serious or to be treated with something less than seriousness.) Is the garage independently owned? If so, complain to that owner. (They can actually tow or threaten to tow and might not smirk at you since you are a customer and not a minion).

No matter what else you do, try to let this one go. If you are going to get worked up about people who do not meet your parking criteria, you will eventually lose your mind. Like my dad did. Frequently.

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.Evil Skippy’s

What Can I Do About An Employee Who Is Always Late?

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Dear Evil Skippy:

I hired a new employee four months ago. She does great work and has a great personality. The problem is she is frequently late for work by fifteen minutes or more.  She stays late to make up the time but her tardiness affects other employees and the workflow. I’ve counseled her and threatened her with discipline yet she still comes in late. It’s reached the point where she does not even try to make excuses. She just winces at me and says “Sorry” as she slips into her cubicle. I’m at the end of my rope. What can I do to get her here on time?

— Supervisor

Dear Supervisor:

Wow. That is really a hard one. What can you do? What can you do?

Oh. I know what you can do. Your job. You can do your job. You are a supervisor. So start supervising.

You threatened your time-impaired employee with discipline. That’s a start. Now discipline her.

— Evil Skippy

The requirement that should be listed in all job descriptions is that the employee has to show up for work, whether she or he works in an office, in a factory, on the road or telecommuting from home. You truly should not proclaim that she does great work if she is failing to meet your basic attendance requirements.

Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, use the “Contact” link on the left sidebar.