Dear Evil Skippy:
I am a long-time fan of your blog, but I was bothered by your response to the writer in today’s post. (ES NOTE: Now it is yesterday’s post.) I agree that he needs to be nice to his co-worker. I agree that his attitude was awful. But you should not have called him an ass. Name-calling is not good.
– Still A Fan
Dear SaF:
You’re right. I should not have called him an ass. It was very unkind to real donkeys for me to do so.
As someone who is neither the boss nor coworker of yesterday’s letter-writer, I feel perfectly free to call him names. It’s immature, but therapeutic. However, were I his co-worker or supervisor, name-calling would be what H.R. and legal professionals refer to as “wrong”. In that case, I would need to translate my original statement into appropriate workplace terms. This would work: “If it weren’t insulting to real donkeys I would call you an ass. Instead, let me say that your attitude and comments are inconsistent with the standards we expect of humans in this office.”
– Evil Skippy
ES’s advice is close, but as usual not quite right for the workplace. Leave off the first sentence and simply tell such employees, “I expect you to treat all co-workers with dignity and respect despite personal opinions or feelings. You do not have to like or approve of your co-workers, but you do need to behave in a professional manner toward them at all times. Future insults or rude comments will result in discipline up to and including termination.”
Hee haw.
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
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Dear Evil Skippy:
After six months of working with what I thought was a guy named Bill, I found out that Bill was born female and had a sex change operation several years ago. I am mad and humiliated. I am disturbed to find out that Bill has been freely using our men’s restroom and I am sick to think of the number of times “he” saw me in there. Didn’t my employer have an obligation to warn me that Bill is not what “he” seems to be?
– Real Guy
Dear “Real” Guy:
I don’t know where to start.
Wait. Yes, I do know. You are an ass. Your co-worker “Bill” is not a “what”, he is a “who”. He is a he and not a “he”. Grow up.
Second, what on earth are you doing in the restroom that you are worried about someone seeing you? Prancing around naked? Leaving the stall door open as you do whatever you do? If so, stop it.
– Evil Skippy
To answer your actual question, your employer had no duty to warn you about anything. Based on your letter, I am convinced your employer was brilliant when they decided not to tell you since you undoubtedly would have made Bill miserable with your inhumane attitude. Whether you approve or understand Bill’s choice, you need to remember the bottom line that Bill is a human being just like you despite some differences. Bill has thoughts, feelings and emotions. If you can’t stand his transgender status, that’s fine. What is not fine is calling him names and being both mean and rude. Stop it. You are putting yourself at risk of discipline under your employer’s anti-harassment policy if you don’t treat Bill with basic respect.
It’s what a truly real guy would do.
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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Dear Evil Skippy:
I supervise a group of 25 office workers. Yesterday, I counseled one of my employees (let’s call him John) because he made a disrespectful and rude comment about his co-workers at an all-department meeting. I did not impose formal discipline. It was merely a strong “talk” in private. (At the end of the meeting, another employee had suggested that someone organize a holiday cookie exchange to take place at the annual office party. “John” replied that we really should not promote eating sweets with this group, especially with all the pounds a few people had added over Thanksgiving. He looked around the room and added, “You all know who I mean”.)
“John” complained to my boss, who then counseled me that I should remember freedom of speech and the Bill of Rights. My manager said I should not counsel employees for expressing honest opinions and if some employees are fat, they should expect comments like John’s from time to time.
Before I talk to Human Resources, I want your thoughts about this. Am I correct that my manager is wrong, or am I missing something?
– Unsure Supervisor
Dear Unsure:
You may be unsure, but I am 100% confident that your manager is a dolt. A dolt who flunked civics class and knows nothing more about the U.S. Constitution than he or she heard on talk radio.
Go ahead and tell Human Resources what happened. If your boss asks you why you told, reply that you were merely expressing your honest opinion under the Bill of Rights. If you’re feeling adventurous, also express your honest opinion that he is an uneducated dolt.
As for “John”, he should be relieved that counseling is all that happened to him. I have worked with some groups that would have roughed him up in the parking lot after work for reducing the likelihood of cookies.
– Evil Skippy
You are correct to be concerned and were correct to counsel “John”. His comments, even though they were somewhat mild (we can all think of much worse things that he could have said, right?), could easily support a harassment claim if they become repetitive and/or are directed at a particular gender or other protected group under applicable discrimination laws.
Talk to Human Resources but do not call your boss unflattering names (at least not to his face or to co-workers. Save that venting for your loved ones away from the office). If your boss asks you why you told, tell him it was because you were concerned that his position could lead to harassment claims by employees who have been subjected to rude but “honest” opinions.
Better yet, set up an appointment for your boss and you to meet with Human Resources together. Without saying you think your boss is wrong, explain to H.R. what happened and ask for their opinion about your response to “John”. Your boss can’t accuse you of sneaking behind his back if you include him in the conversation.
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Evil-Skippy-at-Work/139436836070043 and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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Whenever we have holidays, I have a terrible time getting my act together at work. My heart and soul stay on holiday even though my body is at the office. It is impossible to get anything done. It is worst during the week after Thanksgiving. In addition to a 4-day weekend instead of the usual three three, it is challenging to focus on work when one is looking ahead to Christmas and New Year’s. What advice do you have for those of us who have a difficult time re-entering the real world after a holiday?
– Quinn
Dear Quinn:
Advice? Forget about it. A slap should snap you out of the doldrums.
If that’s too violent for your tender psyche, my advice is to tell your inner child to shut up and make room so your inner adult can take its rightful place for the day. You’re getting paid for doing your job. If that is not enough motivation to grow up and stop whining, there are many unemployed people who would gladly switch places with you.
If you are still sad on the inside because you can’t be at home munching on leftover turkey or pumpkin pie (or out battling other bargain shoppers), let yourself cry on the inside while your outer self is doing its best impression of an enthusiastic worker. If you can’t actually be enthusiastic, then fake it. That’s what most of the rest of us are doing at work if we are not cyber-shopping. As long as your body is doing enough to earn your paycheck, your heart and soul can do whatever strikes their fancies.
– Evil Skippy
Readers – how do you stay motivated at work when your really want to be someplace else?
On a different topic, there was a minor skirmish on this blog last week on the subject of reruns (all starting when a reader had the nerve to call us “lazy”). Here is the link to the post and subsequent dialog (including one reader’s own “Top Ten” list). By the way — running reruns does not make me lazy. My aversion to work and physical labor is what does that.
For those of you new to this blog, welcome and please keep reading despite my confessed laziness. I love the attention. I publish this blog all by myself at the same time as running my investigation, training and public speaking self-employment. I sure am lazy! During holidays, vacations or times of family crisis, however, I often reach back to my favorite posts from the past and run a “classic”. These are always identified as such in the tag lines that appear beneath the title of each post. If that bothers you, consider therapy.
One way to avoid reruns is for me to have an overflowing mailbag packed with workplace complaints, crazy stories and questions you can’t bring yourself to ask your boss or Human Resources. With the holidays approaching, the mailbag is once again running low. I will appreciate it if you take a few moments to send an email (to [email protected]) with fodder for a future post.
Thanks!
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (At least those of you in the U.S. – Happy November to the rest of you). Evil Skippy and I hope that you all have a safe and enjoyable day tomorrow. At the risk of further annoying the reader called “Flunky” (who posts about hating reruns), here again are some of our favorite observations about Thanksgiving to help get you in the mood:
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
– Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants.
– Kevin James
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
– Johnny Carson
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
– Anonymous
Readers – before you abandon all responsibilities other than cooking, eating and football, send a message to [email protected] about the crazy, strange and odd things that have happened to you at work this year. The wildest stories will make it into our 2013 Wrap Up Extravaganza (providing “extravaganza” means a blog post). I’m thankful in advance!
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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Dear Evil Skippy:
At our last department meeting, our supervisor asked everyone to mention something at work that they are thankful for. He said it was to get a head start on the holiday season, but he also thought it would be a good team building activity. I thought it sounded interesting and think most of my co-workers felt the same way. One of my co-workers, however, stood up and angrily said she was not going to engage in any religious activities at work. She stormed out of the room. Our supervisor ended the meeting and that was that. I told him later that we should still do the exercise, but my supervisor said we just need to drop it because we can’t engage in religious activities. Do you think he’s right?
– Disappointed
Dear Disappointed:
I’m more worried about your department’s morale than I am about whether or not you had a religious activity on your hands. You are working with a serious drama queen. That person needs to settle down or get some therapy. Not that you asked.
– Evil Skippy
P.S. — If my boss asked me to make a public declaration of thankfulness, I would say that I am thankful to still have hope that someday I might have a job where I am just expected to do my work and not have to make warm and sentimental announcements to my colleagues.
Your supervisor is right that employers should not require employees to engage in religious activities. He’s wrong if he is saying it is a religious activity if employees discuss things at work that make them feel thankful. You can tell your supervisor once (and you may already have done so) that you do not think the exercise was “religious”. Once you’ve done that, whether or not to conduct the exercise is your supervisor’s choice to make.
Give your supervisor the benefit of the doubt for the time being. Perhaps he is working with your co-worker about her attitude and is holding off on the exercise as part of that effort. The bottom line is that it is his choice whether or not to go forward with it. You have expressed your opinion. Now it is indeed time to drop that particular subject other than to encourage your supervisor not to give up on team building efforts.
Readers — what do you think? Let it drop, or promote more thankfulness?
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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The one who always orders the most expensive menu items when everyone is “just splitting” the bill.- The too-fond-friend of cologne.
- The one who did away with donuts as a required meeting snack.
- The supervisor who tries so hard to “relate” that he or she forgets to “supervise”.
- The over-sharer.
- The one who does not have the common courtesy to say “good morning” back to you.
- Anyone who does not love “I Love Lucy”.
- The one who makes his or her own problem become everyone else’s, too.
- The one who misuses the microwave, does not clean it and/or heats up unacceptably smelly “food” items.
- The one who does not share Evil Skippy at Work with friends and colleagues.
Please feel free to add to this list that I first posted three years ago— and happy (U.S.) Thanksgiving week to you all. I’ve been enjoying your dialogs here and hope not to be disappointed with your Turkey Trot.
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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I am struggling with performance evaluations right now. I always try to say something positive, but I have one employee who is a bit of a problem. I truly cannot think of a single positive comment to make about him. Am I setting him up for failure if I give him an evaluation with nothing but criticism?
– Supervisor
Dear Supervisor:
No. It sounds like he failed quite some time ago.
You are, however, accepting your paycheck under false pretenses. If you have nothing positive to say about this employee, you should be using corrective action to direct him down the Termination Turnpike if he does not improve rather than trying to find something nice to say in his evaluation. You’re a supervisor. So supervise.
– Evil Skippy
Evaluations have to be honest and accurate. Do not under any circumstances include positive comments if there is nothing positive to say. If you believe the employee is trying to meet expectations (even though he is failing), his attitude might be the positive point you need. Nonetheless, ES is correct that you need to do more than evaluate this fellow. You need to set expectations and hold him accountable. That means if expectations are not met, out the door he goes.
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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Dear Evil Skippy:
I work with people who you would want to slap into shape. They are a bunch of slackers. Once again, I have had to cover for one of my co-workers who is out “sick”. I put sick in quotes because this co-worker just had a cold. I can understand staying home if you are so sick you can’t get out of bed, but staying home for a cold or anything else mild is unfair to the rest of us who have to do your work. What can hard-working people do to stop others from taking advantage?
– Diligent Employee
Dear Diligent:
Were you in one of my training sessions last week? I ask because I have come down with the cold from hell and I’m wondering if you are the one who was hacking and sneezing and passed it along to me.
You think everyone else is a bunch of slackers. I have news for you. We think of you as a version of Typhoid Mary.
I hereby declare you to be the hardest worker in America. Is that enough recognition? Now will you stay home when you are contagious? You are not being diligent – you are being selfish. We are not impressed when you tell us you are plugging away even though you’re sick. We just want to slap you, but only if we can first find a surgical mask and hand sanitizer.
– Evil Skippy
I actually see your point if you are talking about a mild case of the sniffles and feeling generally under the weather. However, if you are hacking and sneezing and feverish – stop sharing.
Readers, what do you say? Stay home or spread the joy of sore throats and fever?
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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Dear Evil Skippy:
For a few weeks now, I have been growing more certain that my supervisor dislikes me because I am religious. He has made several comments about “right wing religious nuts” when we are talking about politics. I finally told him that as a Christian I am offended by his comments. He stopped using the phrase but started to be critical of my work ethic (I sometimes have a problem getting to work on a time, but he never criticized me about it before I called him out on his anti-religion stance). For example, now when I return just a few minutes late from lunch, he tells me to be on time in the future. I went to Human Resources to report his conduct. Instead of reprimanding him, they told me that they are going to conduct a “fact-finding review”. This is the same as saying they doubt my story. It’s insulting. Now I feel harassed by Human Resources. Is it time for me to engage an attorney?
– Praying For Relief
Dear PFR:
No, it is time for you to buy a watch.
– Evil Skippy
Human Resources is doing the right thing. You’ve reported a possible violation of your anti-harassment and anti-retaliation policies. If a co-worker complained about you, would you want management to simply take that person’s word for it or would you want a chance to explain your side of the story? Stop being so sensitive and self-centered about an investigation – unless you are really dense, you must be able to fathom the concept that Human Resources can’t accept an accusation as fact. The accuser could be mistaken or lying or nuts (religious or otherwise).
At the same time, you should not be punished for asking your supervisor to stop making derogatory comments about religion or religious people. Keep track of any future actions by your supervisor that you consider to be retaliatory or unfair and inform Human Resources or the investigator. However, you also shouldn’t grant yourself extra break time by extending your lunch. Get that watch as ES suggested and stop being late.
You can find (and “like”) “Evil Skippy at Work” on Facebook and also follow ES on Twitter (@EvilSkippySays).
Evil Skippy and/or Jim are available to speak at your conferences and seminars! For information or to send a question for Evil Skippy to answer, contact us at:
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